Every American high school student has been arrested for discussing their PSAT tests when they explicitly stated in illegibile cursive they promised not to.
CNN tomorrow morning, probably (via metrotextual)
"The century's greatest detective, advertised as solving every case imaginable. How great his burden must be, how much pain must he go through every single moment: past, present, and future... a burden so great it would leave you hunched over. A bitter taste in your mouth that would leave you longing for sweets"